Politico picks ‘Star Wars’ characters for MO gubernatorial candidates

  

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away …

OK, not really. It was Thursday morning. On an AM radio show. In Quincy, Ill.

Still, that’s when Aaron Baker, director of corporate affairs for Axiom Strategies, took Missouri’s gubernatorial race to an intergalactic level.

Baker, in his weekly chat on WTAD’s The Morning Meeting with Sean Secrease and Quaid, compared Missouri’s five major candidates to characters in the wildly popular Star Wars franchise.

And since it’s sort of fun, we thought we’d share his answers with you.

Spoiler alert: No one was directly called Darth Vader. Or the Emperor. Or Jar Jar Binks, though the temptation was probably great.

Full disclosure alert: Baker, who has worked in Missouri politics since 2002, stressed to the Missouri Times that Axiom, the well-known political consulting firm in Kansas City, works for former Missouri House Speaker Catherine Hanaway’s campaign, but Baker himself does not.

So, in no particular order, here is what Baker said — using the force the entire time — starting with the Republicans and then wrapping up with the Democrat:

Eric Greitens/Anakin Skywalker: “He’s struggled with the dark side his entire life. From the beginning a little bit and now at the end. It’s my understanding he did not even file the Missouri Right to Life survey. So he didn’t even try for their endorsement. To me, that’s the most important survey a Republican candidate for governor can fill out. In a Republican primary, life is the most fundamental platform that we have. So, this guy, to me, Eric Greiten’s Anakin Skywalker.”

The hosts asked Baker whether Greitens, a former Navy SEAL officer, was a young or old Anakin, a key distinction considering that Anakin Skywalker — famed father of Luke and Leia — later in the story succumbs to the dark side and becomes Darth Vader.

“Both,” Baker replied. “Just hot headed and struggling the entire time.”

St. Louis businessman John Brunner/Han Solo: “Super good guy, right? You alway want to have him on your side. But it just seems that every once in a while, he’s in the wrong galaxy at the wrong time. And he should have won the U.S. Senate race and I’m not sure that in their heart, everyone doesn’t think he should have been a U.S. senator and not a governor.”

One of the hosts asked (and this was a question that only the most devout of Star Wars fans would understand): Would Brunner have shot Greedo first?

“It’s unknown,” Baker replied cryptically, sidestepping the question like a pro.

Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder/Obi Wan Kinobi: “The guy has been through so many battles, tons of wisdom. But in the end, he’s probably going to be beat by one of his own.”

Catherine Hanaway/Leia Organa: “I mean Gen. Leia, though, not Princess Leia. The general — the go-to one, the one you go to when you want to kick some tail.”

Also, Baker added: “She’s the only female in the story.”

Missouri Attorney General Chris Koster/Kylo Ren: “He was born into decency, he was a Republican and then he changed.”

Spoiler Alert II: Kylo Ren, it must be noted, was the son of Han and Leia in the newest film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”

In that film, Kylo Ren murders his father, Han Solo. Hmmmm….. Is that a not-so-subtle prediction about what will happen in November?

We’ll have to wait for the next chapter. No more spoilers!