Rep. English Catches Capitol Cleaning Crew Drinking Office Liquor, 4 Fired


by Scott R. Faughn english

Jefferson City, MO – Representative Keith English knew there was a problem each Monday when he returned to the capitol and found his liquor cabinet containing a little less in each bottle than he left in them the past Thursday.

The freshman Democrat representative from Florissant is conservative by nature, and after a couple weekends, began to take note of the shortages, “I’m naturally a nice guy so I would have been glad if friends of mine or people I had told to make themselves at home were drinking it, so I asked around and nobody said they were in there,” said Rep. English.

jamesonSo he devised a plan. “I knew that everyone who would have permission to be in there would be back in their districts over the weekend, so I put a real small mark on the bottle where it was full and went home for the weekend,” English said.

When English returned to the capitol one Monday morning, he not only found that several bottles were shallower than the Thursday markings, but one bottle of Jameson was completely empty. This led to officials at the capitol investigating the matter, and according to Representative English four contract employees were fired on Monday afternoon.

English, the former cage fighter, said he would he had held no grudges, “Nah I’m glad the matter was resolved and that won’t happen again.”

UPDATED: After inquires were made today by The Missouri Times the matter appears to have been handled internally by the cleaning company contracted to clean legislator’s offices. Chief Clerk of the House Adam Crumbliss stated, “We’re looking into it, and weren’t aware of the situation until yesterday”.

The cleaning service declined to comment on personnel matters. However, an employee of the House of Representatives told The Missouri Times that the owner of the cleaning company claims the employees were let go for a variety of reasons not solely because of any one complaint.

The Missouri Times spoke with Representative English again this morning and he stands by his account of the story.

Look to the February 18th edition of The Missouri Times for a full length feature on the representative, his career as a cage fighter, and his plans for the state.