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If it were you, they’d throw you in jail


It has taken me a while, but I’ve come to believe that some of the Ferguson protestors have a point. It’s undeniable that there are two very, very different systems of justice in our nation.

Imagine the difference in being a young black man with a government job of a modest income and being an elderly white woman with several government jobs she has leveraged into millions of dollars in income. 

Let’s say the young black man sold some yuppie in the suburbs a few ounces of pot.

Around 6:00 a.m. on a Monday morning, the FBI busts down his door and while his children are screaming and his wife is frightened to death and a group of armed government agents throw him on the ground, slam cuffs on him while the steel bites into his wrists, then frog march him out of his house in front of his family, scaring them forever. They take him downtown and interrogate him while threatening his freedom and bribing his friends and acquaintances to disclose secrets or just make up lies about him in an all out assault on his civil rights. After a foregone conclusion of a trial that young man is thrown in prison for years. 

Now let’s say the elderly white woman carelessly endangers our country’s secrets in an attempt to hide her work from the very nation that employs her, endangering the lives of every American citizen. 

In the elderly white woman’s case, her husband meets with Attorney General “to discuss his golf game” on a private plane, then a couple of days later, the FBI interviews her on a holiday weekend, to – of course – avoid embarrassment, the FBI doesn’t even take a down a transcript. Then a couple of days later, the President’s lackey employees come out and say that while she did all the things that were alleged, there was really “no intent,” basically that “move along, there’s nothing to see here.” Later that day, the President appears in public with her laughing about the entire ordeal and assuring everyone that it was all on the up and up while winking at her that the rubes aren’t in on the joke. 

Yes, it’s undeniable that there are two very different systems of justice in America. I’d protest about it, but I can’t get off work on Saturdays. 

The Missouri Republican gubernatorial primary has heated up with most of the heat surrounding Eric Greitens. He was proven right when he alleged that the video pointing out that while he completed Navy SEAL training, he never actually went on missions with SEAL units, was produced in part by a person who supported John Brunner. The day ended with appeals from Greitens’ campaign to the “main stream media” [sic] to come to his aid. 

Mainstream media?
Mainstream media?

That really shouldn’t be surprising, as it was only a handful of months ago that he was a Democrat – one so stridently liberal that he attended Barack Obama’s 2008 Democratic convention and wanted to run against Roy Blunt for senate. So unlike conservatives, Greitens would naturally expect intellectual allies in the mainstream media, like the Post-Dispatch, to have his back as they do Obama, Nixon, etc. 

faughn skinny male modelScreen Shot 2016-07-08 at 12.28.52 AMI have however been impressed by how many people you can persuade by putting “GREITENS: CONSERVATIVE OUTSIDER” on placards.

If a plurality of Missouri Republican primary voters are gullible enough to buy that from someone who cheered Obama’s 2008 Democratic convention speech where he foreshadowed the weaker, more divided, socialistic nation he wanted to make America into, then hell, I need to make placards that say “FAUGHN: SKINNY MALE MODEL” and wait for some of those same gullible Missouri Republican primary voters to come calling. I think I could sell some Abercrombie and Fitch.

In an oddity of today’s Republican Party, nearly a million dollars has been spent attacking Senator Mike Parson, who’s running for lieutenant governor, a job that the state could probably just pay the Capitol janitor a little overtime pay to do, and yet, so far zero dollars have been spent in 2016 attacking Eric Greitens, who attended the most liberal leader our nation’s has ever seen, Barack Obama’s, 2008 Democratic convention. 

I’d say if Greitens wins the primary, conservatives may not be thrilled with their choices in the governor’s race. I mean, both Chris Koster and Eric Greitens cheered the author of the Iran deal Barack Obama’s speech at the 2008 Democratic national convention. 

However, I suppose if the choice is between one candidate who was a Republican leader for 40 years, and another candidate who has been a Republican somewhere around 40 months, well, I’d guess folks in Missourah will prolly choose the most conservative candidate, he just may not be the Republican candidate. 

If y’all can keep a secret, I’d like to let you in on a trap I laid for a couple ol’ boys on Twitter that didn’t quite grasp the vernacular of the Show Me State.

Click to expand
Click to expand

See, David Turner was trying to shame the GOP gubernatorial candidates because they support Donald Trump. Well your simple ol’ hillbilly friend, Scott, reminded him that while Trump is terribly unpopular in the Kansas City Star’s newsroom, he will get 55-60% of the vote in Missourah, and bet him a cold frosty Busch beer on it. 

Well, ya see, David, and later Twitter aficionado Jeff Mazur, settled on 57.5% and raised the bet to a bar tab. 

What those fellas seemed to forget is that I said “Missourah,” which is a geographic location containing outstate Missourah. While Missouri is a geographic location including St. Louis, Kansas City, and the People’s Republic of Columbia. 

The city slickers didn’t quite read the fine print. So, I’m quite confident that they’ll be paying up in November. 

David, Jeff – I like a strong Captain and Diet with a lime…a lot of ’em. 

Check out This Week in Missouri Politics on Sunday morning, where we will have a debate between the Democratic candidates for state treasurer, Judy Baker and Pat Contreras, as well as Democratic candidate for attorney general, Teresa Hensley.