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Casas: My daughter says the F word

My daughter says the F word.My daughter is 3 years old and she says the F word.I’m not proud of it, but it’s really funny. Mostly because she has that little baby voice and she’ll say something like “Oh man, this sandwich is f***ed.” or she’ll say to our dog “Scuddy, you f***. You ate Princess Tiana!”, or “Scuddy, you son of a b****!”

Martin Casas from St. Louis, Mo.
Martin Casas
from St. Louis, Mo.

I take responsibility. Well, my wife is just as culpable. Probably 15%, I’ll take the other 85% (because I’m a good husband and I refuse to let my wife take any heat! Happy Valentines Day, honey.). There is a thing going around social media that says that people who swear are inherently more honest than their non-swearing counterparts. As I always do when I see a new meme pop up, I rejoice “FINALLY! That evidence I’ve been looking for!” But, like most memes-unfortunately- it isn’t correct. It’s just like Abraham Lincoln said “Most of the things you read on facebook, aren’t true.”

We do our best to hide our laughter and then tell her that she shouldn’t say that word and that daddy (mostly daddy) and mommy (often but not as much as daddy) shouldn’t say it either.

Then when something happens and I drop the f bomb, Sophie will say “Don’t say f*** Daddy. That’s a bad word.” Of course, she is correct. The good news is that she does not say the word in public, only at home. So, at least we still might qualify for Parents of the Year.

When you have a kid they do a lot of things that are adorable, horrifying, gross, but always memorable. Watching a little human being learn things for the first time is an amazing thing to take part. I think we overlook how incredible it is because there are billions of other people on the planet all going through the same thing. I can tell you that there is no greater joy, nor will I be able to find a joy that will surpass it, other than seeing your child grow and experience things for the first time.

My daughter also likes to burp and wear tutu’s, two other small joys that I have seen her develop with much gusto. When she sleeps she puts her hand under her chin like she is thinking and covers herself with her pillow. When you wake her up in the morning and remove the pillow, she opens her eyes just so to display her incredible fury that is boiling inside her tiny mind. She glares at you and grabs the pillow, then goes back to sleep. Sounds ordinary but I promise- go have a kid—– it’s amazing. A couple of minutes later you will hear her giggling and will say “Daddy…I’m awaaaake!” Amazing!

While my kid is a cusser, it’s one of the things that makes her so amazing. She gardens with her grandmother, can pick out all the letters of her name in the alphabet, is a chronic dancer and prolific iPad user. She loves to read books, in fact she has memorized the books that we read to her most often- Click Clack Moo is one of them. Children are unencumbered by the weight of the world, they see things as how they want them to be and play uninhibited to other opinions of them (like the time we went out to brunch in her full Thor costume.) I’ve embraced pink, tutu’s, and snuggle time. It’s a must.

It’s there that I envy this kid. The world is new to her and everything is amazing. But most of all she is not afraid to be who she wants to be, and as adults we accept that children are allowed to do and be all sorts of stupid things. Why do we lose that? Why do we start saying “The way you think is not right, you should not be that way. You should be like us.” I’m sure there is a psychological reason behind it, but imagine for a second if you lived your life free of the burden of fear of expressing your ideas. Of not fearing that someone will reject you. That’s got to be liberating.Having a kid has made me realize that while we have many responsibilities in life, none more so than how important to set down what’s in front of you and enjoy what you have now.  I’m amazed by what she does and through her I’ve been able to relive parts of my childhood that I’ve forgotten. Including how awesome it is learn to swear for the first time.