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This Week in Missouri Politics Column: Thanksgiving Game Balls


Hot out of the oven for Thanksgiving, I thought it was a good time to pass out some game balls for the next phase of the holiday, football. 

GAME BALL: Cole County Circuit Judge Dan Green

Newly minted as Missouri’s arbiter of common damn sense, it took Judge Dan Green about as long as it would take any Missourian with any sense to come to the conclusion that it makes no sense to strap masks on the faces of 5-year-old little kids. Imagine if an elected judge uses common sense on an issue that a supermajority of elected legislators passionately agree with him on, and some appointed judges chose to hold those kids down and strap masks back on them … folks might start to ask about the process that got them on that appointed court. 

GAME BALL: Gussie Faughn and all the other kids Judge Green liberated 

When he shows back up to school on Monday, he will have a note in his backpack for the commissar of Karl Marx Elementary telling her that Judge Green has liberated him. Now she will be hella pissed as she believes this is East Germany, and you just do what the gubment tells you and shut up, but he will be smiling. Thanks to Judge Green you will actually be able to see his smile too. 

GAME BALL: Ben Brown

The restaurateur and state Senate candidate was a plaintiff in the lawsuit that liberated the faces of Missouri school children. In politics, this is what a good day looks like.

GAME BALL: Cole Countians

If you were in need of another clear example of Cole County’s superiority over Boone County, just look at Judge Green’s performance. Don’t forget it was the citizens of Cole County who elected Judge Green to put him in the place to be the liberator of Missouri children’s faces. 

By contrast, a leftwing Eric Greitens-appointed judge in Boone County has taken an ice age to answer the simple common sense question Judge Green handled in no time, and he still hasn’t got his job done. I know hipsters hate to hear it, but Cole > Boone is just the facts. 

GAME BALL: Steve Hobbs

The 50th conference of the Missouri Association of Counties was last weekend, and it was the first under the new executive director, former state representative and county commissioner Steve Hobbs, and it went off without a hitch. 

GAME BALL: Sens. Brian Williams and John Rizzo

They did the heavy lifting on passing a new law that allows local prosecutors to ask courts to vacate convictions of people they believe their office wrongly prosecuted. It’s the law that allowed Kevin Strickland to walk free this week. 

GAME BALL: Missouri School Boards Association 

The only smart thing the Missouri education establishment has done in the last two years was the School Boards Association’s decision to pull out of their national organization after they made ridiculous claims about Missouri parents. 

For years, the nerds have been picking on the jocks in Missouri education policy. Is this the first sign that the quarterbacks and cheerleaders are done getting pushed around?

GAME BALL: Senator Roy Blunt

His vote on the key infrastructure bill — that now everyone who didn’t have the courage to take his lead will claim credit for — deserves all the game balls, maybe the whole damn game ball factory. 

GAME BALL: Attorney General Eric Schmitt

I know some folks don’t like it, but frankly, the fact that the socialist editorial boards hate it is the same reason his aggressive stance against the Biden administration is appealing to regular working Missourians. You can see it in the polls, but you can also see it out in real Missouri where folks are more worried about shooting bucks than drinking Starbucks. 

GAME BALL: Rep. Mary Elizabeth Coleman

She was doing the work in JeffCo that Eric Schmitt is doing at the state and federal level when she filed a lawsuit and liberated the children of JeffCo’s faces before even Judge Green could get to it. With Rep. Becky Ruth seemingly joining the administration, it gives her perhaps an even clearer shot at the Senate seat she is running for. 

GAME BALL: Cameron Gerber

His story on the flood of illegal immigrants into St. Charles County has really created buzz amongst Republicans who talk a big game about the flood of illegal immigration on the Rio Grande but are now being asked what they actually with a documented flood of illegal immigration on the Meramac right under their noses. 


Maybe the wall that needs to be built ain’t on the north bank of the Rio Grande. Maybe we need a wall on the western bank of the Mississippi from East Coast environmental wackos. They are suing Missouri’s gas company over their pipeline. You remember the cold snap last year when lots of local gas companies ran out of gas? You know who filled those gas pipes and kept Missourians warm in freezing weather? It wasn’t some environmental wacko lawyer. It was Spire. Why don’t we send them back east?

GAME BALL: Governor Mike Parson

Another Thanksgiving of Gov. Mike Parson doing what the people over Missouri elected him in a landslide to do: honorable, common sense, effective governing. 

We will have the show back next week, and in the meantime, take some time and learn about the history of Missouri at for the history of Missouri one county at a time.